fallen away

fallen away?
but maybe that's just it
there's some fiery pit
that burns because all
your casting out
made it

when you leave me (first)

when you leave me
first i do not
think
but

trace your still-warm spaces (indentations, marks, empty) on a circuitous route

i may unwittingly prepare
for a long
drought

storing substitutes in heavy pockets

i may hibernate

retreat to sleep under goosefeather fluff (the high as low as pillowed downs and just the window's light come in)

i may move
real
slow

or do the thing that's closest, like whatever my hand finds to touch (the loads of dishes, someone else's stuff)

i may
get stuck

that pile of papers, the messages, the clothes (whose job it was not mine to fold)
even the piano

i may eat
feeling unsatisfied

if I
am lucky I may

see something

a seed catalog with pink azaleas, seafoam nail polish, lavender bath salts, periwinkle stockings
or
that island candle I made a few weeks ago

and I will light it
but

I leave you
first
when my voice breaks
the sound barrier

- sk, 2/9/13