French Hornist Escapes in New York City

I'm on the loose! Brooklyn-based French hornist looking to infiltrate the world of indie rock. (It's a French Horn Rebellion, y'all.)

CONTACT ME.

I will:

• Play in your band, your friend's band, or some other band that you heard needed a lady horn.
• Make up my own parts or play the ones you've meticulously written.
• Be down with extended technique, chance music, social experiments.
• Do strange things in the name of art. If your tune requires me to play horn from the center of a giant hamster ball, I will do that. (I will also sit in a chair. Your call.)
• Wear whatever costumery you might require: clothes pins, ball gowns, chucks, feathers, yellow rain jackets, all black, no black at all, etc.
• Play very expressively and with great musicality.

I will not:

• Be able to leap from the bottom of my range to the top of my range with a great deal of accuracy. Nor will I be able to do the brass equivalent of "shredding." I'm just not that fast. If you only write for horn in the upper register I will likely start to sound like a repressed elephant. Same goes if you write everything fff.
• Play standard orchestral/band/brass quintet repertoire. Nothing wrong with it, I just don't want to. I want to rock out.

I have:

• An undergraduate music education degree from James Madison University with a concentration in horn.
• Experience playing most other orchestral instruments + ukulele on a 7th grade level.
• Decent piano skills.
• A super ear for harmony, which makes me a great back up singer.*
  *I cannot play horn and sing at the same time. I can however play ukelele or piano and sing at the same time. I am very good at that.